jonamo_cat

turkishb @ 02:33 am:

omnamahshivaya @ 10:08 pm: hi
i have not posted for a while, but i will start again.....

i am unemployed since last June. i am very likely a multiple personality. i lost the job from it.

my son is in college. he is doing well.

i have an online Man since June 08 keeping me busy. We talk every day, cam, text and IM and play on Second Life. HE is planning on coming here to live with me soon. He lives on other coast of this country.

fayanora @ 05:55 pm: Writer's Block: Two Truths and a Lie

1. I once had an extended email dialogue with author David Brin.
2. I still have a lot of my baby teeth, including extra canine teeth.
3. I have six toes on my left foot.

Tags: writer's block

turkishb @ 03:05 pm: My life is way too fucking easy lately.

fayanora @ 03:29 am: For those concerned about airport security...
...new full-body airport scanners may be shot down by child porn laws!

Tags: funny, news

fayanora @ 08:09 pm: Weird dream
Something someone on Twitter said reminded me of a dream I had last night, wherein zebras began walking on just two legs and had taken to being scavengers, eating meat. One of them was trying to make friends with a vulture, but the vultures attacked him and he thought, "Oh yeah, that's right, we're competitors now."

Tags: dreams, in the land of the weird

fayanora @ 06:04 pm: Nation's Nipples Severely Under-Clamped, U.S. Bureau Of Masochism Reports
Nation's Nipples Severely Under-Clamped, U.S. Bureau Of Masochism Reports:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nations_nipples_severely_under?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

Tags: bdsm, funny, the onion

wilted_bliss @ 01:31 pm: anger and why not?
I've got hospital privelages...I've got constipation and farting so embaressed infront of the cuter people in life. still want to chain smoke but when your hungry it doesn't go over too well. So angry I'm just another person stealing from tax payers money.

The sad thing iS i PAY my taxes. for me to be in here hungry and angry at everyhting. One week ago I was pretending to be strong. got a cab...needed help and EMERGENCY fucked me up for centuries. I'll never forgive that litttle bitch I work for who repeadidly stole from me..

I understand he so much I want her to die. those stupid stoner jokes aren't funny when she looks so preety. I bought a bunch of new things for my hand defiance.

breathe easy my friend. and I found out who you were. I missed rachelle and feel sad about not kissing her back. I feel bad for not dancing with her and I'm alittle upset about how my new years went. I trampled to kiss  him and he pulled me back. I left w ith him again. to be his girlfriend.

he told me to repair and be prepared when he was a shaking mess. I feel it's my fault for not planning tegan and sara earlier and why i have to make every decicion. I felt the world on my sholders and If I have something  to beat up after angry dreams ...that I lost anyways...well then i don't even know the answer


all you little blonde bitches. I'm not jelous I just want your heart breaking days to end. I want every one to stop lying to me. what the fuck was I to do..and I ask god now...what the fuck did he want.


do u not think I've payed my dues?


i guess I'm just angry I didn't get to finsih 2009 and now 2010 is here and the papers are stock piling. what was i suppose to do? work and get treated like shit and work as hard as I can for as much as  i can and people a little higher on the chain to tell me how it is when I know exactly how it is.


pat never showed he cared..never bothered to ask. and just because and this because he never knew me well enough to bring the cd's I waned. here I am...another week. here I am...for one more god damn week and I;m so angry I wan tto cry.

emergency will never forget me. telling stories about dissapearing doctors. my head is a mess sometimes but i undertsnad you better than you think..and all of you that hurt me should be aching inside because i have sick headed thoughts . none of your god damn buisness.  I just wanted some air.

turkishb @ 04:57 pm: I've been sad the last couple days.

I miss film. I miss being an artist. I am going to find ways to make art again. I am going to make films again. No more prevarication.

I got my learner's permit today. Ali's going to teach me how to drive. I am going to learn how to drive so I can join a booking agency and do production work. Also so I can drive to Storm King and see Goldsworthy's wall, whether or not I can get someone to come with me. (But I think I will.)

I don't need to wait for anything. I am loved, liked, able-bodied, reasonably sane, and ready.

Grace pointed out something on our trip. "Just take what you like about them." So I'm taking drive.

fayanora @ 07:03 pm: Classic!
One of the best scenes in Babylon 5: Vir gets what he wants. ( Contains spoilers )

Tags: fandom, videos, youtube

fayanora @ 06:59 pm: OMG CHEESE
I've been having a craving lately for one of my favorite foods: Extra Sharp Cheddar Cheese. Not just sharp, EXTRA sharp. But the problem is, I haven't been able to find any made by the cheap off-brands, and I don't want to pay $5 or more for this tiny block of cheese from Tillamook.

I was in the deli section of Winco today when I happened to notice something I hadn't seen before: the deli had their own wrapped cheeses. Since they hadn't been in the same section as the rest of the cheese, I'd never seen them before. They didn't have anything labeled Extra Sharp Cheddar, but I was reading the labels for some of these others... a couple of white cheddars caught my eye, because I'd never seen white cheddar before. I examined everything closely, compared prices, and was on the verge of not getting anything when the label for the Australian import cheddar got my interest. So I found the cheapest one I could to try it. It was $5, but it was quite a lot of cheese for that price, so it was a better buy than the cheeses in the other section.

Just tried some of it a few minutes ago. I believe my reaction was "Holy fucking hell!" or "Oh my fucking God!" I'd have to compare the two to be sure, but I think this Australian import sharp white cheddar (aged 2 1/2 years) is SHARPER than standard extra-sharp cheddar! And holy hell it's delicious! Like Stewie from Family Guy said in one episode, "It's like an orgy in my mouth!"

Tags: awesome, cool stuff, food

lygophilous @ 09:17 pm: Annual Traditions (2/2): Year-In-Review
I started one of these for 2007 and 2008, but I never finished both. I knew that after this year, and at the end of this particular decade, I absolutely needed to do this without any excuses.

So, herein lies the 2009 Year-In-Review after so many life-altering events of the last twelve months and the last ten years!

( My Life in 2009 )

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

A jigsaw falling into place
So there is nothing to explain
You eye each other as you pass
She looks back
And you look back
Not just once and not just twice
You got the light
You can feel it on your back
Your jigsaw falling into place

"Jigsaw Falling Into Place" by Radiohead

I used this song as my theme song for my new Livejournal layout that I updated in August (after Stephen mentioned that the old one wasn’t exactly reflective of my current incarnation), but I never truly appreciated that song until now. It’s my first song on my Soundtrack for 2010, although it could very well by my last song for 2009.

I feel that at the culmination of 2009, my life had finally falling into place after a decade of drastic upheaval, drama and depression, doubt and discomfort, and desperately seeking myself. Ten years that started with a bang and continued with so many changes… It’s incredible to think just how far I’ve come. How different I am. And how much I love my life. It was a struggle and an uphill battle, but now, from the top of the world, I can look down upon the seemingly impossible slope of 2000-2009 and be proud of myself for the first time ever.

Thank you, LJ friends, for sticking with me and letting me follow your lives. Thank you weltreisender for being my best friend, for being there when no one else was, for being the one constant these last ten years. Thank you, katharon for getting me through the darkest months of my life. Thank you, former Academie folks, for being the friends and distraction I needed to get through my depression.

Thank you, Stephen, for rescuing me, loving me, adoring me, laughing with me, showing me the beauty in life, being everything that I have ever needed in one person, and promising to be there for me and with me for the rest of our lives together. I love you so much.

Tags: gnosis, reflections, year-in-review

turkishb @ 08:52 pm:

lygophilous @ 05:51 pm: Annual Traditions (1/2): The Color Quiz
So, another year, another decade, another series of annual Livejournal traditions, although I've been incredibly (and understandably) remiss in my updating. Life has been quite overwhelming, and while I adore the internet and enjoy the fact that I've chronicled my life here, finding the time has been nearly impossible. I'm hoping, now that for the first time in ten years I actually know what will happen in the next year, I can start to maintain my precious LJ once more.

Seeing as I only have a total of seven entries for the entirety of 2009, I won't be completing the usual list of first-of-the-month entry titles. However, I actually have completed a full Year-In-Review to post (the first since 2006... I never finished '07 and '08) as well as the annual Color Quiz.

This is the seventh annual taking of the same quiz, in which I look at a series of colors twice and the quiz dubs me with existing situations, character pluses and flaws, and what I want and what is blocking my way. Ever since I have started this tradition, I always find amusement in the results, because they always appear accurate.

Granted, there is probably some psychological aspect to it all, probably involving my belief in the quiz and how I approach it in order to view it in a correct manner, but I, frankly, don't give a rats ass. This is purely for reflective purposes and to watch my progress over the years.

( The Color Quiz of 2009: )

Every year, it never fails: I get two "actual problems". I suppose two is better than one; my life is so complicated and interesting that it merits more than one.

So, let us put our cute little armchair psychologist hats on, shall we? I am undoubtedly always wanting new and fascinating things in my life, and I certainly do get impatience when things tend to stagnant. When I get bored with a project, I tend to move on to something more interesting and come back when I find that my interest wanes in the new project. Rarely do I sit in one place and finish something in one sitting (although I big cup of coffee and access to the internet helps... such as now, seeing as I sat down to write an entire entry for once).

While I do find myself somewhat of a Renaissance Woman when it comes to random ass knowledge and my month-long obsessions that rotate in interest, I suppose I can be overbearing at times. However, I completely reject the "nosy" comment, as anything you want to keep secret from me can be kept secret. If it is something important, my friends will tell me in their own time.

As for feeling forced to compromise, sure, I can see how that appears in my life. Recently, I feel as if I have to put a spin on everything in order to please everyone around me and make them see future changes in my life as a positive rather than a negative. I can never truly express my happiness, because other people are not happy about the changes in my life, so I can never be fully happy. I'm juggling all these different groups of people, and these past few months, I've grown tired of it. Living in Charlottesville come May will definitely be a good change in my life.

No complaints of explanations needed for the desired objective; it's certainly where I am headed these days! As for my problems, well, I still feel restricted within the environment in which I live, but that has changed a little since the wedding and will change drastically once I move, I'm sure. I readily admit all over this journal that I use charm often, most applicably at work and most especially at work when I am dealing with people whom I 1)don't want to deal with or 2)are easy to sway. No shame there. And problem numero dos emphasizes the whole freedom thing; I admit, I am feeling a little suffocated in my current living situation. I do NOT like limitations or restrictions put on my own development, thank you.

In summation, marrying Stephen, a man who understands all the above, was a great thing, and making my major life changes in the next year will be great, too. Giving myself a new place to live and explore and growing in my relationship without expectations will do wonders for me.

I really can't wait for the third of January 2010. This is an awesome start to the new decade!

Happy New Year to all my LJ friends and non-LJ friends who read my journal. I know it will be grand!

Tags: color quiz

lygophilous @ 08:38 am: Finally.


Married!


P.S. I love you, Mr. Stephen!

Tags: agapē eros and philia, ch-ch-changes, important moments, mawwage bwings us togeva, mr. awesome husband

turkishb @ 04:53 pm: My trip was great. It's sort of like a reset button on my brain. "Push only in times of emergency..." I laughed my ass off all day, and admired the world, and thought a lot about how dumb my existence is currently. It is pretty small. I work, I get paid, I spend my money, I go to sleep, and then I work again. Throughout all that I have the comfort of familiar people, and the freedom to do basically whatever I want (cheaply). There's no sense of urgency or even really of continuity. I live variations on the same day. That's okay with me though. It may be dumb, but it's peaceable. Distantly, I hope I find drive, but I'm okay with being the happy guy people like. That's a novelty, at least.

I'm young, and to quote my fellow traveler, "we have plenty of time to be old!"

I was more cognizant of the physiological effects this time around. I noticed a lot of feelings were very close to feelings of being asleep. The heaviness resembled the waking paralysis that sometimes happen when the brain doesn't all wake up at once. And the handling of information, focus, and pattern-seeking parts of the brain flicker and spin like a compass at true north.

It occurred to me watching Avatar again how stupid most of our fantasies are. They're incredibly fucking stupid. Our notion of the future is grossly constrained by the present. I also thought about how stupid the response of psychological research is to modern drugs. I'm intensely curious how LSD works on the brain, but the research is pretty simplistic. (When I last looked it up a year or so ago, anyway, I should look again.) One encounters a lot of childish language about religious experiences, but no sophistication about contingency.

fayanora @ 12:01 am: Anti-blasphemy law?
Ireland passes anti-blasphemy law.

Hopefully some Pastafarians will abuse that law to get it repealed. I can see it now: "Fine him shitloads of bucks! He's insulting my religion by eating spaghetti!"
Discordians: "Fine her! It's a blasphemy to not wear a chicken suit to work on Fridays!"
SubGenii: "Fine them! They blasphemed Bob by not paying me $90!"

Tags: news, religion, wtf law

fayanora @ 12:48 am: Gold, silver, and platinum
I'm not an expert in the industrial uses of things, but it occurred to me last night that the only industrial use of gold (that I know of) is as a conductor. The rest of its value seems to lie in humans' tendency to fight over shiny objects. Well, that combined with its rarity.

And I got to thinking, are there industrial uses for silver and platinum? Or are these three metals basically expensive decorations, their only worth coming from the "ooh, shiny!" reaction?

Regardless of current uses, it seems to me that the technology of the Mindeodean universe, in the time most of the stories take place (7000 years in the future), there probably won't be any industrial uses for these metals at all, given the technological level of the majority of the planets in that universe.

This in mind, I decided to make gold, silver, and platinum part of the official Mindeodean Empire currency. But with a difference. First of all, all legal tender in the Mindeodean Empire (Mindeodean and Mindeodean colonies, at least) is gold-backed. Even the numbers in the computers that - in our modern economy - are imaginary, even those are backed by one of those three metals. And the official money is in coin form. I don't know what the bulk of the coins will be made of yet, but I've decided there will be a trace amount of gold in each coin. I was thinking, with their technology, that they could put truly microscopic amounts in the coins, in an intricate nanoscale design that is hard to counterfeit. I've also decided that only the Mindeodean government is allowed to be able to put gold, silver, or platinum into the fabrication machines, also to cut down on counterfeiting. And the coins might be made of a variety of materials in intricate patterns. In a world full of fabbers, one has to take steps to make counterfeiting as difficult as possible. If anyone has any other ideas for how to make counterfeiting difficult in that universe, please let me know. Because those fabbers can make basically anything they have the molecular pattern or design of. They're almost like the replicators of Star Trek.

What do you guys think of the idea of banning gold ownership, in that world? If yes, how far should I take it? Should I have them ban all gold, or just gold that isn't in jewelry/timepiece form? Or something else?

Or maybe the whole idea is doomed to failure? Maybe they should have some other economic system? But so far, this system makes the most sense to me.

~ ~ ~

LOL! First post of the new year!

EDIT: christinathena convinced me that the best system of money would be for everyone to make their coins to the same standard. It works because they have sensors that can quickly assess the weight, composition, and purity of the coins. This way, people can fab their own coins! Only official Mindeodean governmental coins (and possibly other government coins) would need to be counterfeit protected. And I think that the first two of the following three ideas I had seem best for those anti-counterfeit protections:

1. Whatever the base metal of the coin, the inside would have a secret design made in another subtance (or more than one).

2. The coins would have a faint radioactive signature, just enough to identify them and be safe even in large numbers. Any ideas on radioactive elements that could fit these standards, and also have a halflife of maybe 500,000 years or so?

3. Some kind of computer chip (or its future equivalent) embedded in official Mindeodean currency with an official (and possibly encrypted) digital seal inside it?

Tags: creativity, ideas, ooh shiny, stories, things i've written, thought of the day

fayanora @ 06:55 pm: The End
I follow this one LJ community that is a site that posts writing prompts. One of the posts said simply "The end." This is what I came up with:

And, thus, was the end of the universe. Cold, lonely, with all the matter spread out in absolute heat death. No two atoms were within less than a lightyear of each other. All that remained was one last vestige of humanity, a strange moon-sized object that was still managing somehow to create power for itself, even though its creators had died out almost a million years ago. Though it lived on, mysteriously, it was almost as silent as the rest of the universe.

But all of that was about to change. For it had been programmed to wait for a million years before completing its final task. And time was just about up.

5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

...and the universe began again.

Tags: creativity, stories, things i've written

turkishb @ 07:04 pm: